Sunday, January 29, 2006

Falafel with Hamas: Israel's Terror Top 10

Our Man Elli in Israel, an original regular contributor to Tabloidbaby.com's popular Stories to Steal page, keeps us updated by email with the latest jokes, cartoons, conspiracies and articles floating through the Internet.

At last, he checks in with Israeli reaction to the Hamas victory in the Palestinian elections:

Top Ten Good Things
to Come Out of the Hamas Election Victory:

10. 95% of winning candidates will probably blow themselves up by end of first term
9. Government officials now easily recognizable from their FBI Most Wanted Terrorist Mugshots
8. Finally a government to compete with Iran for prize of Most Psychotic Government
7. Allows AP to title pics of kids dressed in Suicide-Bomber costumes with the line "Kids dress up as favorite Government officials"
6. Palestinian C-Span channel will probably have parental advisory for graphic violence
5. May encourage al-Qaeda sleeper cell members to abandon terrorist plots in favor of seeking cushy government desk jobs
4. Any political filibuster in the new Pali-gov. would now probably be deemed as "fighting the war on terror"
3. Now calling the Palestinian government a "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" is just wrong
2. Finally allows for Hamas version of the TV show "West Wing," which promises to be just like the show "24," just from the terrorists' perspective
1. Makes answering the question "Do the Palestinian people support terrorism?" a no brainer

Our Man Elli in Israel is a veteran journalist and writer whom we worked with in a New York City television newsroom many years ago.

Based in Jerusalem for more than a decade, he's subject of the Frozen Pictures documentary feature, Sex & Baseball, currently in production.


Anonymous said...

Is that hummus or hammas?

Anonymous said...

One man's freedom fighter is another man's terrorist - your Israeli correspondent should be aware of this.

This is a critical time in the region's history - that almost sounds like a cliche.

How many times does one have to see a Palestinian father (i.e. ABC Nightly News) say he could make more money working in Israel to support his family?

o resort to a real cliche "We are the World" - and as difficult as that is for some people - the Palestinians have children too.

The Bushies have a great deal of tap dancing to do both domestically and internationally -
let's at least give peace/truce/non-violence a chance.

Why not let Jordan send over a few billion dollars and help build/rebuild some businesses? Maybe that would "get the terrorists" off our backs.